I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize