I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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