dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
