Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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