what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
