check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
