is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
