you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
