Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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