I didn't shave. On purpose
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
