Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
