My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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