I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
