I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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