We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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