so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
