PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
