I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
