This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize