you win again, gameday.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
