I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
