More tranny stories later!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
