you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Moan for me like Helen Keller
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
