sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
