Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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