I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
