My liver just broke up with me...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
the liver wants what the liver wants
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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