at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
