false alarm. still invincible.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
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I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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