i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
