I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
