We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
