How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
