I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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