Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
