Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have demons in me.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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