I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
