you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
