I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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