Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
