so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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