Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
