Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
