The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
