This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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