Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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