The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
