She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
