My first STD was from a foam party
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
