You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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