____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
