She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
