Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
