I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
don't judge my taste in strippers
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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