I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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