It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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