Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize