Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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