A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
