I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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